BALLS After Dark.10 More brass than class

In a very special feature-length episode of #BALLS After Dark (following Beeso's mandatory Apple Music discussion/unpaid advertorial) the boys get into music for kids - in particular, the futile azimuth of vainglorious ambition that is trying to get your kids to like your music - featuring the Wonky Donkey, Jurassic Joe, the Heavy and duelling Rain Songs. From Tales of Brave Wedding Tie-Buying/Ulysses we segue seamlessly into reviewing our first Album Challenge entry for this week, the reinvented 60's Cool Jazz (...Nice.) of King Gizzard and/or the Lizard Wizard's Quarters Exclamation Mark. French Riviera and Lamborghini Miura not shown in your picture.

A divergence into First Albums follows, where the artistic merits of '87 Right On Track' are argued, likewise the wisdom of Check Out The Chicken on the same compilation tape as Megadeth (1990 was weird, yo. 1990 was also Time For The Guru.) It's all fun and games until suddenly the stunt goes horribly wrong when Beeso declares doesn't like the new Sleater-Kinney album. And then it all kicks off. Quite a lot of shouting ensues, in which it is argued that the World's Greatest Living Rockstar™ Kanye West isn't a musician, plagiarism is art, and Everything Is A Remix. Feel free to chop up bits of this argument, set it to some shit Casiotone beats and claim it as your own for artistic and financial gain.

We get back on track with soundtracks, namechecking This Is Spinal Tap, Singles, Judg(e)ment Night and Spawn, before the whole shambles degenerates into aging white Australians talking about American hiphop which goes about as well as you'd expect. Shouts to NFa. Beeso's picks for this week are by Seth Sentry (Strayan rapper) and John Carpenter (Seppo film director writing his own atmospherics), up until the bonus Hashtag Balls After-After-Dark where the Doc actually tries to listen to his album of offcuts and shite and declares a reluctant preference for brass monkeys the Budos Band. Also revealed in the After-After-Dark: the true and horrifying secret behind where Beeso's perverted and distressing lifelong obsession with brass began. It's a last minute twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan. Which is to say, a bit shit.

(For those playing at home, the British band Beeso was thinking of was the Arctic Monkeys, who were broken by MySpace in the years before MySpace itself was broken.)